Wednesday, June 11, 2014

My only breakdown for the whole trip is in England! Yep…I am an english rental car wimp.

ALL VERY WRONG!!! (Source: www.mirror.co.uk)
I arrive in London at around 5pm but then have to find a way to the terminal where I left my other bag on the way out….which ….takes some time…but I manage. And then I get to the rental car company. What’s that? ……Jennifer? …….Did you say rental car company? Hmmm. Is this a good idea? …….Being you have been travelling for nine hours on a plane….still have DB…..it is dark and raining outside….and they ummm….drive on the wrong side of the road (yes….English people…YOU DO!). Yeah…it was a shitty idea. But I have no other option now….and MUST overcome it. Now. Or forever live at Heathrow. 



So Bloody easy! (Source: en.wikipedia.org)
So I get in the car and the rental people say…. SOOO EASY ….just follow
 the signs. I didn’t get a GPS bc they were gonna charge me 16 lbs a day! And…GREAT!!! My iphone I have now discovered is about to die and I have no idea where my car charger is. So…I must rely on 1) the airport persons directions to the M3 and 2) my drawing of where my hotel is. ….YES!......my drawing!!! 


Off I go…and I immediately get lost. I finally find my way back to the airport. And to the rental lot. The guy at the booth gives me a BOOK. A HUGE BOOK WITH MAPS OF ALL OF ENGLAND!!!! ………..I look back at him………WTF am I supposed to do with this? He says he does not need it. Well guess what? ….NEITHER DO I!!!!!

Ok. I try again…..and once again…this time in a different direction….I get lost. I see a McDonalds. I think….well…I could get a coke and settle down and figure this out. But guess what? ENGLAND CANNOT MAKE PROPER ENTRANCES TO ANYTHING! There is always only one f’ing way in! ONE! WhYYYYY? So…back to the airport. They do the same thing…all you do is take a left and a right and a right. They keep saying this….BUT THIS IS NOT CORRECT! OMG! I just survived ASIA on my own….for 6 weeks…..and here is where I will die…in a car….with the steering wheel on the absolute wrong side of the car.


My sentiments exactly! (Source:flickrhivemind.net)
I leave the rental kiosk again….in the rain…and then I finally lost it. By this I am referring to loosing the liquid that can be excreted from your eyes. BUT! This somehow magically seemed to work! Because through my tears I was able to locate the f’ing signs for GD highway! Blurry vision did the trick! Everything else worked perfectly according to my little hand made map. Slept soundly back in jolly England…where there is the most fantastic beer. And….hot showers!!!

2 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha....you survived Asia so easily i see...

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  2. Yep…Asia easy….England…not so much. :)

    ReplyDelete