Sunday, February 22, 2015

When will I learn that being over friendly can be interpreted as …..as…..as something else besides just being overly friendly?

So…I am missing something. Something either about the cultural norms in the places I have visited, or….I am a really odd peg that has rarely been encountered…and even though I am obviously a freak…freaks may be cool to collect? I dunno?

Not sure which.

Friends!!! Right??? What?.....Oh. 
Because of my culture, I have been trained to talk, when I want, to whoever I want.  Add to that the internal golden retriever Jennifer…who like a good dog….LOVE’S to be social and gets overly excited when meeting new people. YES YES YES!!! (See?)

Some understand….”It’s a freak…Just say hello…Don’t make eye contact….It will eventually tire and move on.”

Others…maybe… for some reason (see above) misinterpret and I get…um…sort of into trouble.

It usually happens within max 30 minutes of meeting. And it goes something like this…

"So..you married? NO. Hmm…Children? No…hmmm. How old are you?” LONNNNNG PAUSE. Obviously the toughest part of the deliberations. Then…finally, THE QUESTION….The one every girl wants to hear immediately after meeting random strangers…where she is depending on the random stranger so she will not die.  

“You consider marriage with me?” 


“What?!!!!" ……"I’m sorry ….the boat engine was suddenly very loud…I think I heard you say…Spanish moss in the highlands over tea? Is that what you said?"

F. Nope.

This is where I add to the conversation….and say something like….

”Um….Just so you know the normal kinds of topics at this point in our short relationship should be…..oh I dunno… stuff like…

“Why the hell did they decide Neil Patrick Harris should host the Oscars? I KNOW…SOOO hooo humm…” (Sorry Neil…I was really searching for material…and well. And then they made you do the skit with the fruit of the looms…and you should know…at this point in your career…you should have the power to edit.. Be like Nancy Regan and JUST SAY NO!) . Or….

“You know what I think? I think triscuits if
Photo: dailycrave.wordpress.com
mixed with chocolate…..would still taste like crap.”
Or…”…well.. I think you get the picture.  

What is UBER fun about when this happens is that once the cat is out of the bag…..and for the LOVE OF GOD…there is NO way possible to put THAT cat back in…well…..then…it is pretty much a certainty that the rest of the “trip” will be a little…less “comfortable.” Because…Well.. you can guess what the answer was…..Although given it is a Jennifer…you can also guess that this bit was highly entertaining also. ;)

Problem is….it always happens where again, I am depending on "said stranger" to get me “home” ALIVE. And now…NOW there is a hesitation in that possibility!

Examples: 1) Now I have to hope this guy who is taking me in his car to help me gather footage in India will actually take me back to the airport….(see:http://dolphindocu.blogspot.com/2014/05/and-day-goes-on.html)

video

or….Now this long ride on the boat back to shore will be…umm…..more quiet. Especially if they dump me near the crocodiles and tigers. (Wait…..actually…in that case…it would be a lot louder….and then quiet….ehhum.)


Or…”Yes maybe now would be a good time to take my breakfast dishes…away? Young ….Bell person? Because its wayyyy to early for murder don’t you think? In the morning? Save energy or later? Maybe need to play football or cricket or run marathon…later? Yes?...Yes?”

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