Friday, August 14, 2015

Motorbikes are great fun…until they are not.

Here is a list of NOT

1. Winter
2. Winter with rain
3. There is a swarm of oversized grasshoppers in the way who….DON’T move out of the way ….and , well…the rest is just horrifying
4. Riding without a helmet and recalling the stories dispelled by your mother who was an Emergency Room nurse about how she learned what brains look like thanks to motorcycle accidents. God I used to love my bedtime stories…..

You can’t take Jennifer’s anywhere..PART II

So you might remember from the previous trip, how taking me on a motorcycle could prove well…embarrassing if you are the driver ( Well, it turns out I CAN DO BETTER!!!

I am riding with Gopal around western Nepal to film him with his family and friends. As usual I am carrying my 70lb world with me on my back. All is great.

Interesting place to wear a helmet? (Photo: J Lewis)

We pull up next to our hotel in the evening. There is a fire pit surrounded by men warming up as the sun goes down. Little did they know…entertainment was coming!

So I try to get off the bike and make the mistake of bending backwards JUST TO what was apparently a critical point according to physics. A point where gravity stops you, hands you a martini, pushes you aside and firmly states “I’m taking over!”. Over the back of the cycle! There was simply nothing to do but just relax and enjoy it and see what was gonna happen. This is simply how I do accidents. Highly recommended method. I mean, think about it. If shit is going down, which for me happens a lot, but for most of you probably not terribly often, why not take that rare opportunity to just marvel at it? Why spend your last seconds in fear. Fear vs awe. Its all attitude.

But anyway, I land on my back with my foot trapped somewhere on the motorcycle. And now since the pack is more than half my weight, I am stuck. Like a beetle. Poor Gopal. He turns around to see his retarded friend stuck on the ground. I am fine. It is actually quite comfortable down there. And I am just giggling and wondering…1) when will they get me up? and 2) will there still be beer left at that time?

What is really funny, apparently there is a disease you can get that causes this retarded motorcycle gravity issue to occur repeatedly. But only when there is a crowd. Of men. And your driver is a man. Who wants to look respectable. But cannot…bc he has a Jennifer. :)