Why Jennifer will document stuff…outside of war zones…PART II

Watch as Jennifer with her camera, and her mouth….quietly…um..sort of…disembowels an innocent Rebel soldier….who is seemingly misplaced….in the year 2014….as Jennifer and many children and other town folk (I should add) easily forget they are in a war and begin to feel an intense responsibility to work as critics of the war. We are a demanding audience.

I should add that it worried me also that the soldier….seemed to “check” the situation by putting his face directly in front of the barrel. Correct me if I am being inappropriate…oh who am I kidding…..exactly….when has that ever stopped me?…….but my thoughts when watching this went directly to a Bugs bunny cartoon with Yosemite Sam.

Why Jennifer will document stuff…outside of war zones…and just to clarify….major war zones with loud war stuff

So. While in the midst of editing film one, I am now shooting for film two. This one involves looking at the issue of dolphin human interactions in the northern Gulf of Mexico (aka….the deep south…of the US of A). Well, obviously I needed to place the location. So for some b roll I head to a civil war re-enactment…..which I should add… HIGHLY entertaining! I was uber jealous that girls could not participate. I mean…seriously! Get to storm a beach! Shoot guns and canons! Yell and climb walls raiding a fort and NO ONE DIES!!!!

What I learned however, is that….I have no idea how war correspondents hold cameras steady when shots are fired! It is ALWAYS a surprise. Even when you stare at the canon….knowing its gonna go off…in five…four…three…..two…FUCK! I jumped again!

I share the following little piece as example.

Footage with a side note of disease

Catching up? 

So…Now I am back to the states…..and…. I have all this footage. ALLLLLLLLL this footage. Yep. Ok ….now what?

First course of action. Let’s make transcribes of the interviews! How hard can that be? Side note: Did I ever mention my story about my “almost cancer”?

Ok…so I will deviate for just a minute. Each summer I tend to loose weight…thanks to …a ton of work and no time to put food in my mouth. Well, it happens again (no time to eat) and….I am touching my stomach….and….I FEEL A LUMP!…IN MY STOMACH!…Just above my belly button. SHIT! CANCER! I knew I’d get it eventually! 

Red pen and calculator for grading…Malbec

for ridiculous amounts of footage….

sad wooden table…courtesy of lab I am working 

for …for… tiny sums of money most likely 

reserved for female professors. Yep I said it! 

Go to doctor. He says to me: “Jennifer. That is your umbilicus….i.e., tissue which is part of your GD belly button” “available for you to feel…bc you have less fat to block it…now….this summer.” 

Oh. ….GOOD! I decide to start to cure this issue immediately by feasting on chocolate…bc …I mean shit. When you learn that YOU DON’T HAVE CANCER…shouldn’t you get to celebrate in a big way? Yeah! I think so!

Ok…..so…..back to lots of footage…six weeks times 4 plus hours a day…hmmm. Better go get some more wine. 

PSS. You know it might be a long night…looking at footage…when you pour yourself a glass and you decide…fuck it with putting the cork back in…this wine will be partaken again….yep in about five more minutes.

FCPX is ….my friend? (For non film people…….just google it)

So…yeah….all that footage…what to do with it now?

FCPX…Friend or foe? (JLewis)

Ok. Off to YOU TUBE! What do they say?  “Label your clips with key words!” Great idea! Except! There is a limit to these keys words in FCPX. Not good! Bc being a Jennifer. …..and  a stupid scientist….who can’t limit herself …..EVER!!! to few words!!! (Note to self….next New Years add…”Limit Words”) (Note to all: I fully admit that the word issue might actually not be a scientist thing….but ….dare I say it….a Jennifer thing).

F it! Abandon FCPX stupid key stupid words! Get out EXCEL. Who will judge me? Who? The cat? I rest my case! Excel wins!

PSS. Anyone but me ever worried about overdosing on almonds? Yeah…no…I knew I would be alone on that.